How Your Attachment Style Might Be Showing Up at Work 👀

We often think of attachment styles in the context of romantic relationships or family dynamics — but guess what? Your attachment style doesn’t clock out when you go to work. It follows you right into the office, your Zoom meetings, your emails... all of it.

Whether you’re navigating conflict with a coworker, managing up with a boss, or obsessing over how your team perceives you, your attachment system can absolutely shape how safe, confident, or anxious you feel in your professional life.

Let’s break it down 👇

💙 Secure Attachment at Work

If you lean secure, you probably:

• Feel generally comfortable asking for help or feedback

• Don’t take constructive criticism too personally

• Can collaborate and set boundaries with relative ease

• Trust that your coworkers and supervisors respect you

That doesn’t mean you’re perfect — but it does mean you likely recover from work stress without spiraling into shame or people-pleasing. Go you. 🙌

😰 Anxious Attachment at Work

If you lean anxious, you might:

• Worry excessively about what coworkers or supervisors think of you

• Over-apologize or over-explain to avoid seeming like a burden

• Struggle to say no or set boundaries, even when you’re overwhelmed

• Feel rejected when you’re left out of a meeting or loop

You might find yourself checking your tone ten times before sending a Slack, or rereading performance reviews looking for hidden meaning. You're not "too sensitive" — your attachment system is trying to keep you connected and safe.

😶 Avoidant Attachment at Work

If you lean avoidant, you may:

• Prefer to work independently and avoid team collaboration

• Feel irritated by micromanaging or feedback (even when well-meant)

• Struggle to open up or ask for help, even when you’re stuck

• Keep emotional distance from colleagues to feel in control

You might be seen as calm or “chill,” but inside you could be overwhelmed or completely disengaged. It’s not laziness — it’s self-protection.

😵‍💫 Disorganized Attachment at Work

If you’ve experienced trauma or tend to shift between anxious and avoidant strategies, work relationships might feel extra confusing:

• You crave connection and support, but also fear rejection or criticism

• You may over-function to gain approval, then suddenly withdraw

• You might fear being “too much” and “not enough” — all at once

This push-pull can make work feel exhausting. You might not even realize how much energy you’re spending just trying to feel emotionally safe.

So… Why Does This Matter?

Because work is relational.Whether you're sending an email, leading a project, or having a tough conversation, you're navigating connection, power, and vulnerability. And your attachment style colors all of that.

By understanding how your attachment tendencies show up at work, you can:✨ Set healthier boundaries✨ Self-soothe when anxiety spikes✨ Communicate more clearly✨ Ask for what you need✨ Reclaim your energy

And Remember…

You’re not broken. You’re wired for connection — and those old survival strategies? They made sense in past relationships. Therapy can help you understand and update them so they work better for your current life (and workplace).

If this resonated, you’re not alone. And you don’t have to figure it all out by yourself 💛

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Want to explore your attachment style in therapy? Let’s talk.